How Being a Perfectionist Will Keep You Stuck | Un-do Your Trauma
"Perfectionism is self-abuse in the highest order." - Anne Wilson Schaef
Perfectionism is always wanting literally EVERYTHING in YOUR life to come out perfect. Whatever you are working on, whatever you are putting off to start because you think its only worthy of your time and effort if and when it comes out perfect. But that is a load of BS.
Nothing in life will come out perfect, nothing no one starts or does for the FIRST time, comes out PERFECTLY. But yet, we come to this idea: "I won't do this or I am not ready yet, because it just has to be PERFECT."
When really all we are saying is: *Cue this self sabotaging belief* "I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH!!!!!" Crazy, eh? Bet, a lot of people would of never thought about that one or come to that realization. This was taught to us especially in school (how ridiculous in my opinion), this idea to be perfect; this idea to succeed or do better than the rest or we will get a flunking grade, like what the hell?! This teaches us NEVER to start ANYTHING because it won't be good enough compared to someone else who has mastered the skill.
OR to keep re-doing step one over and over again, too afraid to move to step two because it just doesn't seem good enough. ALL of this is YOU standing in YOUR OWN WAY!!!!! It is sad how our school system trained us to be this way because no one ever moves out of their comfort zone of having the process be messy enough for us to try something we truly want. It didn't teach that it was totally and completely OKAY for our projects and goals we want to achieve for them to be what they truly are; a messy, up and down roller coaster ride of a process. A process on a our way to the idea of "perfection" A perfection for what we want, what we see. But we do not get there by being that way immediately. We get there by doing it, it being messy and proceeding anyhow because you believe in yourself. You believe in the process and the fact that you will get better over time.
Perfectionism is simply an illusion, it is a self-sabotaging way to avoid what you want; to live a life you imagine. And finding the root cause of when it first started for you is key to understanding that what you were already doing is perfect, it's perfect FOR YOU and doesn't have to be for anyone else. We all build our skills and talents over time, those who succeed are the ones who didn't care how messy their ride was but they believed and succeeded because of their persistence.
Persistence OVER Perfection.
Watch my video below to get an auditory sum of this and how you can just finally start whatever you want to because your soul keeps calling you toward it and not based on how it will look like to others, because frankly, WHO CARES?!
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lots of love, - Alexandra xo
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Lots of Love xo