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How To Stop Falling Victim To Your Emotions


"Don't be a slave to your emotions. Control them." - Unknown

It all happens to us when we feel a certain emotion especially negative ones, we fall victim to those exact emotions. An experience happens to us, whether that's with another person or just an experience that includes us, something sets us off and we get triggered by it. Usually feeling the feels of anger, sadness, loneliness, unworthiness, grief etc. follow by a train of thought that includes those exact emotions, making you believe something about yourself and creating more of that exact emotion. It is a vicious cycle and quite negative environment for yourself to be in.

We fall victim to our emotions!


We feel the feeling, we become identified with it, we believe the thoughts that follow that emotions, which then just make us feel horrible about ourselves. We all do it, we all CAN AND DO fall victim to those emotions as the emotional reaction without ourselves is VERY strong and most of the time over power our rational mind. Now, even though we all fall victim to these negative emotions, we can learn to distance ourselves from it and become unattached to the false stories that our mind likes to create.

"Control your emotions or they will control you." - unknown

So when we understand and become aware of what happens when we have an emotional response and trigger to an experience, event or person, we can start to control our emotions a lot better thus creating a better experience for everyone involved. I always recommend to my clients to feel the feeling that is stirring up in their bodies, as ignoring the emotion will only make it grow bigger and bigger until it explodes. So there is nothing wrong when a certain experience triggers you and makes you feel some sort of way.

BUT NOW, instead of immediately responding to that feeling, falling victim to it. Walk away, take a breather and take a journal where now you have some time to process what is ACTUALLY going on. Write down exactly what happened, what caused the trigger response from you and what emotions you are feeling. What you want to do here is understand and be compassionate towards yourself so that you know what you can do next.

"A clear understanding of negative emotions dismisses them." - Vernon Howard

When you understand what is actually going on and how your mind is trying to play tricks on you, is how you can reverse it. So let me give you an example. When you have a fight with your spouse and they do something or say something to trigger an emotional response from you, you walk away and start feeling the feeling while also playing a story out how: "He/She never listens to me." "I can never count on them." "They always screw me over." Etc. In the moment it truly feels real and it truly feels like that story is true. But when you are able to walk away and dig out the root cause of your trigger, you will realize how those thoughts that are playing out isn't exactly accurate. Is it really TRUE that your spouse is never there for you, never listens to you or always screws you over somehow???

Most likely not, or you would not be with them. Period.

Or if you have an emotional response to something you have been working on and failed to accomplish. The emotional response is you may make you think how you are not good enough, you always fail at whatever you do, you aren't skilled enough etc. But again, when you walk away and reassess the situation, you will realize that also isn't true. I am sure you would be able to think of things you have accomplished and succeeded on but see that is how strong our emotions are.


When we feel good, we think good thoughts thus creating awesome stories about ourselves. When we feel bad, we think bad thoughts thus creating horrible stories about ourselves. Stop falling victim to the false stories, to the negative stories that make you feel bad about yourself. Those emotions and thoughts are not true. You are better than that, all that happened was there was a pain point that was pressed and it's your job to heal that pain point for yourself, so you do not fall victim to that emotion ever again.



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Lots of love, - Alexandra



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