The Reasons Why You Go Back to Him | Relationship Talk
"Don't stay in an unhealthy relationship because you think it'll get better eventually. Know your worth and move on." - Unknown
STOP RUNNING BACK TO THEM !! (guy or girl)
I will be talking from the females perspective as I myself, have been there and done that but I just want the guys out there to know, you can easily apply the following to you as well. . .
You meet this guy and there is an unspoken kind of energy about him that draws you to him, eventually both of you end up in a relationship and in the beginning there is fairy dust, butterflies and rainbows.
It's literally like heaven on earth ~ Hallelujah ~ but eventually when both of you stop being conscious and aware of yourselves and the relationship, we go back to our original blueprints of what triggers us.
You cry, you fight, you argue and you end up stuck in a relationship that feels like toxic turmoil than that heaven you once experienced. You start questioning, you start wondering, you start thinking the problem is YOU.
You guys may reach a point in the relationship where it finally breaks off and you both go a couple weeks without speaking or seeing each other, but something draws you both together again. You realize how much you miss them and you now only remember the positives about them.
So both of you agree to meet up and talk things through and agree on stating some clear boundaries so both of you can be content in your relationships and you are here thinking: "Okay, lovely, all my problems have went away"
Again, the relationship starts of beautifully with all the feels and laughs but you realize it doesn't last long, all that bliss ends within about 2 weeks to a month and it's back to where you started ~ Heelllooooo Hell ! ~
Some of you may keep this cycle going on and on and on and on.
Thinking it'll get better and eventually it will go back to the way it was, and some of you may finally end things only to move on to another relationship that looks similar to what you previously experienced.
HEEELLLOOOOOOO LIFE LESSONS !!!
What I just described here, is something that I personally have been through and seen many many times before. I reached a point in my life where I started to say: "No more. No more of this. No more disrespecting each other, crossing each other's boundaries and living in stress 24/7. I deserve better."
BUT I didn't jump into another relationship because I realized that I needed to heal a part of me that kept going back to these kind of relationships. These kind of relationships where the highs were high and the lows were very low. I needed to understand what was within me that kept picking these type of men (or women for some of you).
I started to dig deep within myself, my soul and I worked with my own life coach to start to understand what was going on. I realized that all the men that I dated previously reminded me of my father in some way, shape or form. Now, my father wasn't someone I looked up to in my life, in fact quite the opposite.
He was an alcoholic, argued with my mother frequently, had a huge ego and was unreliable. He didn't present to me what a man should be. Thing is, this is where it gets really important and how I work with my clients in understanding why their mind keeps recreating the same experiences over and over again.
When we are that young and we are exposed to certain experiences that are negative, it SHAPES our reality in the future, i.e. our mind will recreate the same sort of things we experienced when we were young.
So if we were young and we saw our parents fighting all the time, they had a toxic relationship between each other and we were exposed to abuse (even if the abuse wasn't directly toward us) we start to believe that THIS IS WHAT'S NORMAL!!!!
See, when we are young we are in a state of hypnosis (I mention this quite often as it is important to realize and understand this) and when we are in this state, our minds easily download and store information that is vital for our survival later on.
Some people would think and say: "Well okay, sure that makes sense, but doesn't then our mind understand that that is what's bad and we shouldn't want bad experiences in our life?"
and to that I say,
NO, not really. Our minds don't give a damn what's considered "good" or "bad", it only cares to understand what was traumatic for you and what seems normal to you - AS WHAT IS NORMAL MEANS YOU CAN SURVIVE IT and something that isn't normal means you can't. - Silly right? but that is how our minds work.
So if parents that were arguing was what was a normal day to day thing in your house, most likely you end up repeating relationships that were exactly like that. Because our minds run to what is familiar and away from what is unfamiliar (which could also mean a healthy and loving relationship)
Now, some of you may be thinking now: "okay, well how do I make loving and healthy relationships normal?"
Firstly, you must understand, your brain has no file storage for healthy and loving relationships, so any kind of "nice" guy you meet, your mind will want to run away from that. If you know this about yourself, you must start telling yourself in those moments when a guy is treating you with respect, that THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT and THIS IS WHAT'S NORMAL.
You do that enough times and your mind will start accepting that as the truth and will start leading you to healthier and more loving relationships, but it all starts with your mind FIRST. There is no other way around this.
Other times, for tougher cases and people who can't get around that, I use hypnosis on them to start telling their minds that they deserve, they absolutely want a loving relationship and HOW a loving and healthy relationship looks like.
Whatever you want, whatever it is that you are missing in your life, you FIRST must input it into your system and tell your mind exactly what you want and deserve and with enough times, you will receive that !
Watch my video below as I go into detail about these kind of relationships, how you can start getting out and how you can start convincing your mind of what you DO want.
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