"We sabotage great things in our lives because deep down we don't feel worthy of having great things." - Taressa Riazzi Let's face it, in a world that we live in today, with the experiences that we have been through and that have shaped us into the person we are today (p.s. this is always something you can change if you truly want to and are ready to take the next step forward) Through everything we have been through, you think we would be kinder to ourselves.
But we tend not to be. We tend to be our own worst critic, repeat words to ourselves that are so unkind, we cause states of anxiety and depression on ourselves.
I know that most of these things are very subconscious and very habitual, that is hard for us to stop beating ourselves up, and most of these things, phrases and criticisms come from our childhood, how we were treated and believed that that is just the way we are and how the world views us.
THIS IS NOT TRUE!!
It is just a perception we ended up believing because at a tender age of 4 or 7 we were looking out to the world and our caregivers of who and what we are in this world and what we are meant to do, and most of the time our caregivers and people around us made simple, sometimes truly unknowingly mistakes that have affected us and how we think of ourselves.
"Don't carry your mistakes around with you. Instead, place them under your feet and use them as stepping stones." - unknown
Which then it leads us treating ourselves badly, thinking we aren't good enough and continuously beating ourselves up, but we must train ourselves to stop and be a better person to ourselves.
Below are 5 tips I give to stop the process of making yourself feel bad about everything you do and how you can truly start to reverse this negative way of being.
1. Stop Beating Yourself up
Stop criticizing yourself over all your past mistakes, over how not enough your are doing etc. This is literally stopping all momentum of what you are trying to bring to life and causing you to be stuck in a very stagnant area! Learn to appreciate where you are at, all you have done to get here and the moment you learn how to be grateful for it, that feeling will actually cause momentum to pick up and show you more things to be grateful for.
2. Stop adding more to your to-do list.
you honestly don't need to do more, be more or have more! I can guarantee you probably have or know enough to get you started in something, to have some momentum pick up and take you to some place, somewhere, where you want to be. You do not need to be busy all the time in order to succeed or feel worthy! Stop having a running to do list, do the things that are necessary and then stop!
3. Stop doing things for others & not yourself.
Stop pleasing others as well! A lot of people end up doing so many things that they truly do not want to but get forced into it by others and by the feeling of wanting to please them. Stop doing this as this creates 0 boundaries in your life and you are teaching other people that they can always rely on you no matter what, which most of the time causes them to dump everything on you! This isn't healthy for you and your life. Start creating some serious boundaries so that you have the space for the things you want AND if you truly can support someone with something, you are doing it because you have the time, space and mental capacity to do so.
"Love yourself enough to place boundaries. Your time and energy are precious. You get to choose how you use it. You teach people how to treat you by deciding what you will and won't accept." - Anna Taylor
4. Stop allowing fear to control you.
I get that it's natural to feel fear but when it literally comes in the way of the things you are trying to achieve, this is when the fear needs to be resolved. Try to understand where it's coming from and what it's trying to teach you about yourself. A lot of people need to understand that fear is actually a great way to personally up level your life and it shows you where you DO want to go in your life. Fear just kicks in when you really care about something, so a great technique to learn is turning that fear into excitement. You are EXCITED to begin a new chapter/project/relationship in your life and you will see how your mind will shift with this one idea.
5. Stop comparing yourself to others.
We all have our own stories, we all have our own journeys. The worst thing you can do to yourself and to your motivation is by looking at other people and where they are at their lives and then feeling horrible about yourself. It's so bad for your mental health and again, it just stops all your momentum of where you are headed. We are all unique and what makes us the most unique is our own personal stories of achieving great things or our dreams. Allow yourself to build your own story without comparing it to other peoples stories, it's their own and not yours.
"The first rule of kindness is to be kind to yourself." - unknown
Remember at the end of the day, no matter what, you only truly have yourself and you only truly live with yourself and if you cannot be kind to yourself then who else are you expecting will be? May you feel peace, may you feel love, may you feel worthy and may you feel good enough.
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IF you have been wondering what else there is to this life..
IF you are in a constant negative loop, repeating certain habits & lifestyle choices..
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IF ANY PART OF YOU has been asking for more, more guidance & support from an individual who can see your situation in a different light and GET YOU BACK TO A MORE HAPPY & FULFILLING LIFE.. or if you just want an accountability coach to help you UP-LEVEL in the next chapter in your life.. OR you know you have HIDDEN BLOCKS and you would like help into releasing them and re-wiring your brain..
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