"How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you."—Rupi Kaur, Milk and Honey
Conscious Relationships We all have heard the term thrown around here and there but what's the difference? And WHY you should want to get onto this kind of level with your partner. When we grow up, we are so use to hearing "FIND THE ONE" "Find someone who completes you." "Your partners needs to be your everything" etc.
And even watching most of our parents relationships, we never truly got a GOOD understanding of what a beautiful, strong, loving communion between two individuals truly is (if you did, then kudos to you and your 'rents because they didn't follow most of the populations model of what a relationship looks like) So then we grow up and we go out thinking: "I must find THE ONE" like you are on the hunt for something bright and shiny that will save you from yourself. Quickly, we find out that that doesn't exist. There absolutely isn't a person that exists that will take on ALL your BS and try and fix it FOR YOU! That just isn't how it works. What must happen, is that we fix it ourselves because if we don't we will go on from one relationship to another, trying to find that person that will fix us. What a conscious relationship looks like is TWO INDIVIDUALS that come together and say: "Look, I got baggage, you got baggage. I am willing to work on my baggage as long as you can do the same."
And that is just the beginning of a beautiful bond that doesn't rely on making you happy and healing you. You come together, understanding what that person has been through and so do they. Both of you are on this healing journey together, healing yourself from all the betrayal, jealousy, hurt, insecurities etc. without JUDGING one another! Without using that individuals baggage as something you will attack them with later on. THIS IS ABUSIVE AND SO UNNECESSARY. If you're in a relationship like this, just do yourself a favour and GET OUT. People like that, don't understand what it takes for someone to heal and don't quite see yet that they must heal themselves from whatever hurt they are going through. (whether they are aware of it or not)
What I love about conscious relationships is the fact that both my boyfriend and I know each others past, listened wholeheartedly without any judgement or labels and we gave each other a safe container to truly be vulnerable and speak our truths.
We both are healing and know and understand that. There is absolutely no finger pointing, no shouting or screaming, no name calling or attacking; because we are aware of the fact that some days when we go through stuff (WHICH IS COMPLETELY OKAY TO GO THROUGH) we are still on the healing journey. We ask ourselves and the other person questions about what it is they are feeling, where is it coming from and what do they need. It is truly a beautiful and healing relationship not because we rely on one another to make us happy but simply because we are a space for each other to confide our most authentic feelings and what we are going through. This is exactly how two "broken" individuals heal each other. Watch my video below to understand more about these kind of relationships and how you can start creating one yourself.
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Lots of love, - Alexandra
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Lots of Love xo