"Nothing destroys self worth, self acceptance & self love faster than denying what you feel. Without feelings you would not know where you are in life. Nor would you know what areas you need to work on. Honour your feelings. Allow yourself to feel them." - Iyanla Vanzant HONOUR YOURSELF It is the one thing that we somehow are taught to deny or be ashamed of, : "NO! You shouldn't feel sad/angry because this happened" "Grow up...seriously." "Put your big boy pants up and MAN UP."
Which is quite sad when people do that, they make you feel ashamed for feeling whatever you are feeling in that current moment THUS teaching us and future generations NOT to TUNE into THEMSELVES!!! Which again, this was just past down from generation to generation, those people who have belittled you for feeling a type of way were once belittled themselves for feeling an emotion. SO, it really starts with YOU to start ACCEPTING & HONOURING YOURSELF to FEEL & TUNE into those emotions so that you start to influence future generations to start accepting what they are feeling too. AIN'T NO SHAME IN THAT ! So, I always tells my clients that FIRST & FOREMOST, ACCEPT WHATEVER IT IS THAT YOU ARE FEELING!!!!
identify your emotions, understand what the feeling really is, anger, sadness, frustrated, jealousy etc. ?
Which one is it? Then, ask yourself WHY do you feel that way? What is it that someone has said or done that made you trigger a certain response in you. When someone sets something off in us, it means we have a pain point that needs to be identified and released. Allow the response to come up, sometimes it doesn't come up RIGHT AWAY but it may after a week or so.
When it does come up, now understand whatever happened way back when and how it is connected to the current situation at hand.
Most often the way we reacted to something, was an over reaction but it is so because we haven't ever addressed the root cause of the issue. Once you do this, you can realize and release the old situation THUS making it easier in the future to not have that pain point triggered again. This is how you honour yourself, this is how you allow whatever it is you are feeling to be there, understand it and then let it go. Without thinking to yourself that it was dumb you felt that way, or you shouldn't feel that way. No, the emotion is there for a reason; it is trying to teach you something and once the lesson is learned, that is when it will be fully released and won't have the same effect on you in future scenarios. Watch my video below, as I go into more depth into this and I give examples of what certain things may trigger you, how to easily accept them and how to start the questioning process.
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As always folks, Lots of love - Alexandra xo.
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Lots of Love